Joanna's Story

Joanna has written this story about a mysterious secret garden. I spotted a wide variety of accurate punctuation and some vivid descriptive language. Well done! Add your comments underneath the story.

The Secret Garden

I woke up to a wonderful morning, the beautiful bluebirds we’re humming a lovely lullaby to their young and the fresh scent of pine trees filled the air with joy and happiness.

It was Saturday and I couldn’t wait to get amazing pancakes. As I crept down the glass staircase I could smell delightful pancakes topped with ripe berries smothered in the delicious maple syrup. I crept further down and as I got to the bottom of the winding stair case I grabbed the shiny polished doorknob and opened the wooden door which led to the kitchen. To my amazement the table was filled with all sorts of food like bacon, waffles, French toast, pancakes and much more.

But sadly this isn’t that story…

Terror grabbed me as my mum screamed ‘WAKE UP!!’ in my ears. ‘You have to go to grandmas house today remember! Now hurry up and get changed!!!’ she explained.

‘O.K.’ I replied.

Then I looked out the window… it was nothing like my wonderful dream. I saw the graffiti on the walls of the local shops, the road was dusty and old and most of the houses we’re filled with top-to-bottom ivy. After that I sadly closed the half broken window and got ready to go to my grandma’s house.

Later that same day, my grandma asked ‘do you want some snacks dear?’

‘No grandma, but thanks for asking.’ I replied.

‘Why are you in a glum mood?’ she asked politely.

‘It’s just that nothing seems to go the way that I want it too.’ I explained.

‘Well why don’t you go to the garden it will take your mind off it.’ Grandma advised with a secretive smile on her wrinkled face.

            So I took my grandma’s wise advice and went to explore the backyard. The garden was gorgeous when I last saw it; there was spring all over the garden, and bright sunflowers reached towards the sky. But now it is an overgrowth waste land, there is no more beautiful bright red roses nor did it flourish any more because all the lush green grass has disappeared in its weeds. All that is left is a dusty old garden coated in spider webs which crawl on top of the overgrowth.

            I explored further down the garden. I tripped over a music box which my mum bought me for my seventh birthday; I loved that music box with all my heart. As I fell into the thorns of the overgrowth I bumped into a small wooden door, to my curiosity I tried to open it but it was locked. I looked around and, at the corner of my eyes, I saw a small key that fell out of my music box, it gleamed in the sunlight. I grabbed the key hoping it will fit the lock, and it did!

            I opened the door and saw a marvellous place and thought, what will I find in this place of enchantment? Dreams do come true…